Without You
by GeorgiaGirl1331
Summary: Damon does as he promised Stefan. He finds the cure, and leaves Elena. Because her feelings are all about the sire bond, right? At least Damon thinks so.
1. Chapter 1

I hate this whole sire bond crap so I decided to spin it. I hope you like it! :)

* * *

**Part 1**

It has been years. So many long tumultuous years, that neither of them had expected this.

They just wanted to go to a place that they could be alone in their memories with the other.

Guess that was the thing about fate - it always led you to where you were suppose to be.

And that hope that they held onto, sparingly?

Hope that one day this would happen. Well it finally came.

They don't touch.

And when they come face to face they don't even need words. They both silently move to the table in the corner away from the small afternoon crowd.

"It's good to see you Damon."

"It's good to be seen." That smirk, his beautiful smirk that she hates and loves at the same time? Needless to say she has missed it.

"You look good."

"Obviously. I've looked the same for almost two hundred years. Hot as hell." Cocky son of a bitch. It's the exact way she remembers him. Just the way she likes..._loves_ him.

"One hundred and ninety one to be exact."

"You keep track of my age?" He's bewildered. She totally gets it. Why wouldn't he be, after all shouldn't she still be with Stefan? The one she claimed was her best choice until all of a sudden he wasn't? It wasn't all of a sudden but he doesn't believe that. Hell her friends didn't either. Since when do people need to endlessly prove their love to anyone but whom they love? The truth of the matter is she would have done it. If he would have let her. She would have proven it to everyone, to him most of all, but he left her before she could do that.

"No. Well...kind of. Mostly of how long we've been apart."

He's completely taken aback by her response. So he deflects in his own not so subtle to her but subtle to him way.

"You look good too Elena."

"God I've missed you. Hence why I'm here...except I didn't expect for you to be here. I just came to feel close to you. To remember something we shared that no one else was apart of."

"I didn't expect you to be here either."

"Great minds think alike." She does her best to give him a confident smirk. Only she is anything but confident. He has stayed away for almost twenty years.

"Really?"

"Really. You've been avoiding me. Avoiding Mystic Falls."

"I'm just doing what I said I'd do."

"And what's that? Because it sure as hell isn't 'I promise I will never leave you again.' is it?"

"You know why I left." He snaps at her, and she can see his whole body is tense now. She doesn't want to do this. She wants to talk to him like they did that summer Stefan was gone and she wants to laugh the way only he can make her. But they can't. At least not yet. Too much has to be said and it's past overdue.

"One day you were just gone. Not there anymore Damon, do you get what that feels like? You were a constant in my life, I depended on you. I trusted you and then you just weren't there anymore."

"You had Stefan. Speaking of him, where is my baby brother?"

"We weren't speaking of Stefan. Damon things changed. I changed and you never gave me the chance to show you. All because of that damn sire bond."

"Where's Stefan?" He doesn't know why he feels the need to ask again, but he does.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"You know what that means Damon. Stupid doesn't look well on you. You left me the day after we found the cure, and I left him the night of it."

"You mean that all these years you-"

"Yes. I've been looking for you. A long time ago Damon you gave me your blood you knew what it meant to you and yet you didn't even bother to see what it meant to me. When Stefan confronted me about it he told me that it might not have meant something to me but it sure as hell meant something to the two of you. He was partly wrong. It meant the world to me. That's when I knew. Skrew the sire bond. That moment in the bathroom was everything because I felt everything. All of your love, your need to keep me safe, the sadness you felt for not being able to save me. I knew I was making a rash choice the night we thought you were going to die but I did it because I knew I loved Stefan already. I just didn't know I loved you too. I know that I chose wrong."

"Why?"

"Because you would have let me drain you dry if it meant I could live. I felt it Damon. Your love, it was consuming, and I wanted to be consumed. I thought being around you before I turned was consuming but the truth was I had to idea. It's why I turned to you, not Stefan. I knew you would understand and not judge. I knew you would have my back, and you would love me human or vampire. That's when I knew that nothing else mattered to me but to feel that love forever. That was when forever hit me Damon. So I told Stefan. I told him that I was so sorry but I needed your love, that it had nothing to do with the sire bond. You know what he told me?" He shakes his head because he can't even formulate a response. He is completely overwhelmed.

"That he knew the minute I transitioned and went after you to stop from hurting Matt that him and I would never work. I asked him how he knew that from a simple instinct to protect my friend. Stefan told me that it was impulsive, and that was something you perfected and as the days went on he saw more of you in me. It was all true Damon. I wanted to take more risks, be more selfish, and my actions were impulsive more often than not. The worst part about the fact he was just noticing that is that it's been there all along he just never saw me the way you did. It wasn't the sire bond Damon. You need to understand that. I am still like that. That part of me I thought died when my parents did. You brought it back Damon."

He stares at her. She's sure he has no idea where to go with all that but she hopes he catches on to the part where her and Stefan had a talk. That what she felt had nothing to do with the sire bond. That is what matters right now.

"How old are you Elena?" He hits the nail on the head. Even without that stupid sire bond they are still completely in tune with each other.

"What you really mean is human? Vampire? Because you hear a faint heartbeat like yours but I'm older. You want to know if I took the cure."

"Sure."

"You left as soon as we found the cure. I thought you had just went home. That you were too afraid that what I felt wasn't real."

"Well?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

* * *

"Did you take the cure Elena?" He looks at her like his whole being is depending on what she has to say. It's only now she finally gets what that means. What she means to him.

"I did and Damon-"

"You should be thirty-seven. You don't look it." She sees the hope in his eyes. She knows all too well how much they all wanted her to one day be that age. Damon wanted that for her too except he would have her, keep her, love her human or not.

"That's because I'm not."

"Spill Elena. What the hell happened when I left?" He's getting antsy. He's confused and she can see right away that he hates it.

"Can we go somewhere else? My place isn't far from here."

"Fine."

She knows his patience are wearing thin but she needs him alone. She needs to breath him in and feel close to him because she has waited way to long for this to happen.

They walk next to each other in silence. A comfortable one though. She's use to feeling like that around him and it feels so good to have the feeling back. She's glad she has finally found him because she didn't know how much longer she could do without him. Living without him was not as easy as she thought it could be, as everyone thought it _should_ be. Especially Caroline. She knew Stefan refused to comprehend how she could have let him go so easily but still hold on to someone whom she had previously claimed to hate. Stefan just out right didn't understand her. He didn't understand _her and Damon_.

_"You don't understand Stefan."_

_"Tell me what I don't understand then. Less than six months ago you loved me. You chose to be with me. Then this damn sire bond comes in and ruins everything. Now it's gone and you can be who you were."  
_

_"Do you hear yourself? The me you fell in love with when you first came back to town is gone. I was depressed, weak and I felt alone. You came into my life when I needed someone. You reminded me that I could be happy again. But Stefan I am not that lonely girl anymore. I know you don't want to hear this but this is who I am. Who I want to be."_

_"We were happy together. The sire bond is over. We can be the old us again."_

_"You mean the weak girl with the vampire who pretends to be a man who is a vampire who pretends not to be a ripper?" She blurts out before she can stop herself. She sees the hurt in his eyes. He's not Damon, he doesn't hide it. "I'm sorry. I went too far." And she is sorry, but she doesn't regret it. It's true. She can't pretend anymore.  
_

_"You sound like Damon." Elena is sure that he means it in a different way than she takes it but all she can think is that finally he can see that she is like Damon. Human or vampire.  
_

_"Stefan-"  
_

_"What is really left to say? I already know that the sire bond has nothing to do with your feelings. These pasts months have proven it. I thought we could give it another chance, I thought I could make you remember. Your right I don't understand Elena. How can you be this entirely different person? How can you be like Damon is so many ways and unlike him in so many others?"  
_

_"Stefan I have always been this person you've just never let me be her. Damon has always pushed me. He's challenged me. He is the best thing for me, and I think I may be the same for him. But we are never going to know unless I find him and show him that I was right all along. I wanted him, sire bond or no sire bond. Everything was real."  
_

_"Do you love him?"  
_

_"I don't think you need me to answer that. I think you already know but I can't even if you want me to. He deserves to hear how I feel first. Where would he go Stefan?"  
_

_"Everywhere. Damon will drink to forget, he will try to sleep around but everyone will remind him of you or they won't be close enough to you, and he will kill anyone that pisses him off." He sounds resigned and she is so glad that she doesn't have to fight him anymore.  
_

_"I already know all of that. I just don't know where else Damon has called home, or liked enough to stay awhile."  
_

_"I honestly don't know. He never settles somewhere for too long. If I know Damon he won't leave the states. He thinks your human and staying that way. He won't want to be too far away unless you need him. That's all i know."  
_

_"Thank you Stefan."  
_

_"Your welcome." She leaves with that because really what is there left to say? She knows she has broken his heart, and she hates that she hurt him like this but it needed to be done.  
_

"I took the cure Damon. I thought I wanted to be human, and I wanted to prove to you what I felt was real. I wanted to prove it to everyone. I knew my feelings for you were real but I wanted to be sure that the bond had no influence over any of my choices. You weren't there to see it Damon. I was still the same person. I still wanted you but you were gone. So I decided to wait it out and Stefan thought he could wait it out. He tried to make me remember my love for him. He wanted so badly for me to love him again, and I tried after two years of waiting but it never worked Damon. So I went to Caroline. I wanted her to turn me. With her there would be no risk of a sire bond. She fought me tooth and nail until I suggested going to Klaus. She asked me to give it more time. That I needed to be human. She wanted to make sure that I really wanted this. So I did. I gave it three more years. I went to college. I studied history and writing. I read every witch book, every piece of information on vampires I could find. I planed out how I would find you, where I would live. I kept myself busy until I couldn't. That's when I knew it was time. Stefan was furious when he found out everything he had done had been in vein but Caroline turned me when I was twenty-three. Kind of perfect huh? Closer to your age but still a year younger."

"You did this all for me?" Elena could see the vulnerability in his eyes. He looked so innocent and in awe. She hates that he feels he doesn't deserve much of anything but she is going to change that.

"Don't flatter yourself Damon. It was for me too. Being a vampire gave me strength and it helped me find myself. It helped me find you. I did it because I needed time. Time to be with you."

"You will watch the people you love die Elena. You will never have a family. Why would you choose this?"

"Because it gets me you. The only people I have left are Jeremy and Bonnie, and that will be almost unbearable. There is no one else Damon. They are all already dead. I have Caroline and I'm hoping one day Stefan and I can be real friends again."

"What if it's too late for us? What if I just couldn't do this anymore? Wondering if you will remember your epic love for Stefan, because that was all real. What if I let _you_ go?"


End file.
